WEDNESDAY 27

President Obama releases his official longform birth certificate, a development sure to dominate the news for weeks. Then…

FRIDAY 29

After months of preparation, President Obama makes the gutsiest call of his presidency and authorizes U.S. Special Forces to raid a complex in Pakistan believed to house Osama Bin Laden. Due to bad weather, the raid is put off until Sunday…

SATURDAY 30

President Obama attends the White House Correspondents' Dinner, verbally filleting Donald Trump and the Republicans, and keeping up a cool poker face as host Seth Myers ribs the president about… not finding Osama Bin Laden. Then…

SUNDAY 1

At about 3:30 p.m. EST the Joint Special Operations Command completes a raid in Abbottabad, Pakistan that results in the capture and death of Osama Bin Laden. Seth? Your apology next week on SNL?

Networks preempt regular programming at 10:30 p.m. for a surprise speech by the president revealing the death of the world's most wanted terrorist. Donald Trump files restraint-of-trade lawsuit for interruption of Celebrity Apprentice.