Obama: "Bitter" voters "cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them"
Thank God we don't have any folks like that 'round these parts.

Pope Benedict visits U.S.
"The Funny Hat Tour '08," sponsored by Nilla Wafers and T-Mobile.

Texas raids polygamist Mormon ranch
Dr. Phil is raising the bail money.

Marilyn Monroe sex tape sells for $1.5 million
Turns out she was the Paris Hilton of the '50s.

Katie Couric rumored to consider quitting CBS newscast
Competing rumor has her planning to boost ratings with Naked News format.

Yankees unearth secret, buried Red Sox jersey at new stadium
Just as they remove it, 1,100 miles away in his Tampa home, George Steinbrenner is miraculously healed and becomes fully lucid.