Queened Out: Is there life after love?

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It wasn’t long after Carrie moved that she found herself with several potential love prospects. It was a Wednesday night and they had met in true fairy tale nature at a coffee shop when they both reached for the same coffee cup. As their hands touched, it was love at first sight. John was a thirty-something real estate agent whom at the time was the most eligible bachelor in town. The next night they met for coffee. Coffee then turned into dinner which then turned into a movie.

As the months went by, Carrie and John began to get more and more serious, to the point where John was ready to take Carrie to meet his parents. When the day for the trip finally arrived, John called Carrie and apologized that he had to go on an urgent business trip and stated that the familial visit would have to be postponed. Weeks went by and Carrie hadn’t heard from John, she wondered, what had happened? What went wrong? She eventually found out John had been sleeping with his young muscular Latino secretary for the past few months; he had moved on.

Well, this is where I became involved, being that Carrie was a dear friend; I now became the shoulder to cry on. Somehow, I always end up being the one person that all my friends run to when it relates to love and advice on it. Whatever the reason this happens is absolutely beyond me, especially with my horrific track record when it comes to relationships and finding love for myself. However, I always give it a shot and try to make the person better. I always give the same usual lines, like, “Everything will be alright” or “He wasn’t good enough for you anyways,” and so on and so on. Even as the words are coming out of my mouth, I still ask myself in my head, “will everything be alright?”

Throughout our lives we all go searching for that one person to fill the gap in our hearts. But should we even have that gap there? Yes, I believe there is one person that will love you truly and completely, and that’s great and all, but do you really need that person or can you go a life without finding them and still be happy? That’s the question I hope to answer here. It is nice to have someone there to just be there for you, and to have someone there to give you those little butterflies every time you stare into one another’s eyes.

But then I find myself asking, can you ever love someone this much if you don’t love yourself completely first? And if you truly love yourself 100%, then you shouldn’t even need that person in your life. They’re then just the cherry on top of the sundae; it’s nice to have one, but you can live without it and still enjoy that sundae.

So this is what I plan to do: Make myself a sundae, not literally, but emotionally. I am going to build my life to fit the mold of my biggest dreams, and if I happen to find that cherry along the way, then the opportunity definitely won’t be missed. But I don’t plan on going out and searching for love.

I strongly believe that the one who goes searching for love will come back with no results, while the one who waits patiently will turn over amazing results. Love is supposed to be effortless, like a petal falling off a flower; it just happens. You don’t go pulling petals off anymore, as we all did when we were younger, trying to find out if he loves me or not. It’s time to realize life isn’t that simple, and things don’t come that easily. But they do come. And it may take time, for some longer than others, but I believe that the anticipation of knowing that someday you will be immensely happy makes the wait seem more worthwhile.

We all will find that one person, so I say to anyone may read this: Love yourself completely first, for I know you can be happy, whether you have that cherry or not.

Find out what I'm up to this weekend here.

One thing that every person has in common is that we all have felt some sort of love. With that love we all have also felt some version of heartbreak. After every heartbreak it feels nearly impossible to move on from it and rebuild. Is it really all that impossible?

Once upon a time there lived a twenty-something-year-old drag queen named Carrie, who moved from the frigid cold weather of Michigan to a land of perfect climate in sunny Florida. However, it wasn’t only the vast changes in weather that caused Carrie to move, she was in search for the thing we all long for: love.

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