Queened Out: One community, one goal — but is that really so?

Like every other gay man in the universe, I have seen the movie Mean Girls. As much as I may wish our community wasn’t like that, if you take a step back and really look at it, it basically is. We may not be in high school anymore, but within our community we have certain groups and cliques that we all “belong” to.

Being a drag queen, I am automatically in that category. But is that really all I am? We have many different stereotypical subcategories within our own community, such as masculine, feminine, bear, queen and so on and so on. Do our groups ever really mesh with one another? At the last Pride festival I really started to think about this, and looking around it was very evident that we don’t mesh, we don’t come completely together as one community.

I understand that yes, people hang out with people who have similar interests to them. For instance, masculine guys talk about sports with other masculine guys. But I’m a drag queen who is crazy about sports; even with something in common we still are sitting at different tables in the high school lunchroom of life. I think the idea of being one community has gotten lost in the translation a bit, but we need to remember we are all fighting for the same things in life. We all want to be looked at by the world as just as we are: human.

Recently, there was much drama in my life over very meaningless things and the context was blown way out of proportion by both sides of the issue. Now, I’m not going to go into the details and specifics of the situation, but it saddens me to even know there is any drama. Someone recently said to me, “Wow, I guess the drag queen drama hasn’t ever stopped.” He was absolutely right, but it shouldn't be that way at all. The art of drag is supposed to be something enjoyable and entertaining, not malicious and drama-filled.

I will admit, yes, we all have our catty moments, and we all have had issues with someone at some point in our lives; but it is how we react to those moments that shows our true character. Being a drag queen I have realized how much people can and will talk trash about me, but does it really matter? When we were young we heard the phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Does this not stand true today? I like to think that it still does. Words are just merely that — words. The need to retaliate upon what someone has said is simply sad. This past week I have really distanced myself from many people due to the actions and the retaliations they have taken upon one another. It is just pathetic the way that some individuals need to react.

A factor that I believe has played a huge role in the above stated situation is the Internet and technology. We now live in a day and age where Facebook is something you can be addicted to, Twitter is checked every few minutes, and cyber bullying is the newest way to attack people. Has the Internet really become the new party drug?

I was talking to someone this afternoon about the fact that I have two different Facebook profiles. My drag alter ego Facebook page and my boy Facebook page serve basically the same purpose: to connect with people throughout the country and the world who I might not be able to without it. I use my profiles to share upcoming shows and events I’m a part of. I don’t feel it is the right place to vent about life and bash others. There are millions of people on Facebook; there is no telling just how many people could possibly see that post you posted about someone, bashing them about whatever it may be.

Before I post anything, I always ask myself how it could be taken by someone I barely know and what purpose do I plan to accomplish with it. I think this is something all of us should ask ourselves, and then maybe, just maybe there wouldn’t be childish drama and messiness within our own community. Well need to remember what we want to accomplish.

I think I can speak for everyone when I say we all want equal rights for our community. However, for us to be able to have equal rights in the world, we must have equality within our own. No matter what lunch tables we may sit at, remember we all have something in common: We all are family. Now I hope anyone reading this will take a step back and reevaluate their purpose in life. We are all here for a reason and all can change the world if we just work together.

Find out what I’m up to this weekend on Facebook.

Have you ever sat down and asked yourself, what do I want out of life? I do it all the time, and one of the things that I want to happen one day is the opportunity to have a husband and kids and have that picture-perfect, picket fence idea of the suburban household.

With all the struggles of marriage equality, it seems like it is going to be a daunting task to achieve, but I believe it will happen at some point during my lifetime. There is great irony, though, with the fight for equal rights; we all fight so hard to be equal, yet we don't realize how unequal we are in our very own community.

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