Rage against ... well, whatever, really

Ever just wanna break some shit?

Like, with a crowbar? And there be no repercussions?

Of course you do, because getting angry and feeling destructive happens, and sometimes chilling the fuck out just doesn’t cut it.

Pretty soon you won’t have to bottle up that rage anymore, or even destroy your own stuff, because there is a new answer to releasing all that seething anger. “Rage Rooms” — or “Anger Rooms” — are popping up in places like Poland, Russia, the U.S. and Canada. These rooms are the latest answer to humanity’s need to take out our aggressions on inanimate objects.


Basically, the business model is to supply a room, some household objects, protective gear and a weapon of choice (hammer, crowbar, baseball bat) and let an individual get in there and tear it up. The customer can choose how much time they want to spend, what type of objects they want to pretend are their cheating ex, and live out that universal fantasy of going full-on ballistic on some unsuspecting appliances.

Pretty great idea, right?

I mean, it does sound like fun, even if you aren’t particularly mad about anything. And a gift card for the experience would make the perfect birthday present for that friend or relative with anger issues.

Still, this new business idea brings to mind the odd times we live in. Used to be, if you needed to lose your shit, you just did it, consequences be damned. Now some entrepreneurs are betting that responsible people will save up their anger, then pay to for the chance to go against everything we’ve been taught since childhood about not throwing tantrums, not being violent, and not destroying perfectly good and useful stuff. And we get to do all of that in a controlled environment with zero consequences.

It’s as good a way to make money as any, and making money off of people’s emotional needs seems to be the new black. Consider the whole "cuddle for hire" industry. Back in my day, when you felt lonely, you went to the bar and found a willing warm body to help you forget your loneliness. Today, people skip the formalities and just pay strangers for snuggles and the chance to breathe in their smell for an agreed-upon price and amount of time. People do weird stuff. We have a lot of issues.

But rage rooms may be a good start at working out some of those issues. Besides, who among us (who didn't grow up within walking distance of the local dump) hasn’t wanted to see what it’s like to bash a TV with a baseball bat or throw entire sets of dishes against the wall? It’s just good old-fashioned quality catharsis — because we can. 

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