NEWS IS DEPRESSING
CBS anchor Katie Couric hopes her newscasts will be "more solution-oriented." Preparing a two-minute comprehensive piece on "The Answer to the Middle East Crisis."
ISRAEL VS. LEBANON
Wow, we did not see that one coming.
DIRECT TO VIDEO
Justin Timberlake's new film doesn't get a U.S. theater distributor. Now who do we see about pulling his music distributor?
SMITH, DAVIS WOO GAY CAUCUS
On heels of study that shows that everyone remaining in the Democratic Party is, indeed, gay, lesbian, bi or transgendered.
R.I.P. SYD BARRETT
"Screaming through the starlit sky/Traveling by telephone/Hey ho, here we go/Ever so high."
ARIZONA BALLOT LOTTERY
Voting gets you a shot at $1-million prize. Voting Republican means the cash is tax-free.
JOE REDNER IN CHURCH
Reminds parishioners: Republican incompetence on the County Commission is not in the Bible.
HOGAN VS. FOREMAN
Brian Blair vows to enter grill wars with "Killer Bee-B-Q."
SAMUEL L. JACKSON AS THE VOICE OF GOD
New Bible audiotape confuses listeners who thought the voice of God was James Earl Jones.
SUMMER IN TAMPA BAY
The heat. The boredom. The utter lack of anything newsworthy to mock in the Short List.
Compiled by Weekly Planet staff
