Every single time it happens, I wake up the next day convincing myself that it must have been the booze, or if sober, a repressed middle school memory must have reared it's ugly head. Please someone explain this phenomena to me. WHY would ANYONE over the age of 14 dry hump another human being?!
I had my weird teenage years of figuring out exactly how to masturbate, so if I could, I would like to NOT do so when I have a 180 lb man with a fully functional penis lying on top of me. I know that this is not a pleasurable experience for a guy, and if anything it's a small form of torture for a woman, so WHY is it still happening?!
It seems to come at moments when sex is already "in the bag" anyway so what is this disorder that causes someone to think that two inches of denim rubbing against one another is going to feel anything other than horrible? I could understand if we were in actuality 15 years old and I had told you I was "waiting". But clearly, the wait is over, and if I am horizontal with you... chances are it's not going to be too terribly hard to go the distance.
If anything this strange phenomena causes me to be LESS likely to sleep with you. In fact, on multiple occasions it has caused me to laugh so much that it makes sex impossible. I am far too honest to not utter the words, "Are you really DRY HUMPING me right now?! Are we fucking 15?!" The immense laughter that follows on my part usually kills any mood that existed prior. Oops.
With all the foreplay options I guess I just have yet to grasp the utility of this one. If you have any great reasoning for still doing it, PLEASE let me know. Otherwise, let's spread word, after high school = death of the dry hump.
