Roach clipped

PETA protests

YOUR SEVEN-DAY FORECAST
Temperatures will range from "Chernobyl" to "surface of the sun." Good thing we bought parkas for last week's cold front.

LOWRY PARK ZOO-BOO
Word is they'll cut the animals loose to run wild in the park. Wait, didn't they try that already?

SIMMS' SPLEEN
If we rupture the spleens of the D-line, will that make them play better too?

PETA PROTESTS COCKROACH-EATING CONTEST
That's nothing; we've recommended saving your roaches for years.

334-756-3336
Just call it.

GAS PRICES CONTINUE TO FALL
They should bottom out around Nov. 7.

SLICK WILLY ERUPTS
Blames Fox News for "conservative hit job;" coincidentally, that's Fox News' mission statement.

CHAVEZ: "BUSH ES EL DIABLO"
White House denies Lucifer ID, but cops to Bush being a "lower demon."

FALWELL: HILLARY IS WORSE THAN THE DEVIL
President Clinton responds: "Jerry, you don't know the half of it."

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