Equal opportunity escorts
I am a fairly successful man. I don't make bank like Wall Streeters back in the day, but I haven't been hungry since college. My girlfriend is younger. We met when she was in grad school. Like many recent grads, she's not steadily employed, in debt, and driving an unsafe car. So I support her, house her, feed her, and pay her bills (medical, etc.). She needed to pay off her credit-card debt — 28 percent interest rate! — so she took work stripping and later as an escort. Through escorting, she was able to pay off her credit-card debt in a month.
Now some guys would find this distressing, but I found it kind of hot. Here's the thing: After she paid off her credit-card debt, she stopped escorting. I'd like her to continue part-time until she finds a career. She's mixed on this. We would like to buy a house and make things more permanent, but our income isn't enough to do that if she's making waitress wages. I guess it boils down to this: I would prefer to be with a sex worker than a waitress. I'd rather she make $200/hour on her back than $10/hour on her feet. She says she has issues with sex work. What do you think?
Perhaps I'm Mildly Perverted
I don't think it's up to me, PIMP, or you. And I would hope that your girlfriend, who's financially dependent on you at the moment, doesn't return to sex work because she feels coerced.
But I can certainly appreciate your point of view. There are men out there who're turned on by the idea of their girlfriends/wives having sex with other men; some men are turned on by the idea of their girlfriends/wives being paid for sex. You're clearly one of those guys. And you're within your rights to share this information with your girlfriend and to try to convince her to return to sex work. Because your fantasies of sex work — of her doing sex work — turn you on. And, again, that's fine. But you could make a more convincing case, PIMP, if you were better acquainted with the realities of sex work.
You should start sucking off strange men for money.
You'll have to service men, I'm afraid, as there's not much of a market for male prostitutes who service female clients. While lots of men fantasize about being paid to have sex with women, there's a fatal supply-and-demand problem. Simply put: There are just too many men out there willing to give it away for free. That created a glut on the supply side, which has distorted the market, as there's more than enough free straight cock out there to meet the needs of straight women.
So you'll be giving head to dudes, PIMP. And after you've choked down a few hundred loads, you can go back to the girlfriend and say, "Sex work isn't so bad!" with some credibility. And if you keep doing sex work after you've sucked off scores of men you're not attracted to — men who may or may not have treated you with respect, men who may have very different standards of personal hygiene than you do — that might convince your girlfriend to continue to pursue sex work for your amusement.
Sixteen months is way too soon to be discussing marriage? Really. Really?? How long are we supposed to drag out the courtship, Dan? While I agree with you that three months is much too soon, I'd argue my own personal case: My wife and I married almost a year to the day of our first date, and that was 26 years ago. So while your advice to Lady In A Relationship was sound (CL, June 17), your blanket assessment of the relationship landscape overlooks those of us who have a brain. Jussayin' ...
Good thing I give advice for a living, MR, and don't do binding arbitration. People are free to disregard my rants if they think I got it wrong and make up their own minds. And maybe I went a little overboard: Depending on the couple, 16 months could be the right time, or a right time, to start discussing marriage. Still, a long engagement is always a good idea, regardless of how long you've been dating. If you're positive he or she is "the one" at three months — or eight months, or 16 months — he or she will still be the one at three years.