The sizing up, the gossip, the eye rolls, the locavores, the unemployed musicians and hyper-organic activists: Is this Seminole Heights or … Portlandia? OK, it might be a bit of a stretch to compare SH to the hipster utopia that is Portland (or at least Portland as lovingly mocked by Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein on IFC). But hang out in the Heights long enough and you’re bound to recognize some … similarities.
Check out the statements below. Some were overheard in Seminole Heights. Some were voiced by characters on Portlandia. See if you can tell which is which.
1) “It’s just a one-time fee that you pay annually.”
2) “Have you seen this dog, are you the owner?”
3) “Is it local?”
4) “(Eyeroll, viewing young hipsters entering an old bar) “Now they’re invading this bar. Will we have no place left to hang out?”
5) Customer: “I don’t normally eat meat, so I’ll just get the steak well done. That’s okay, right?”
Server “Absolutely. The steak is not vegetarian, though.”
Customer “Oh, well, but if it’s well done does that count?”
Server “I believe it is still considered meat even if it is cooked well done.”
Customer: (blank stare)
6) “People tell me my body looks like a melted candle.”
7) Two hipster chefs are fighting over whether or not chicken and waffles is worthy of serious culinary consideration. One yells, “Chicken and waffles is bullshit!”
8) Spoken by several people in succession: “I’m a DJ. Wanna come to my DJ night?”
9) “… where young people go to retire.”
10. “Put a bird on it.“
Answers on the next page …
Answers:
1) “It’s just a one-time fee that you pay annually.” —Portlandia
2) “Have you seen this dog, are you the owner? —Portlandia”
3) “Is it local?” —Portlandia
4) “(Eyeroll, viewing young hipsters entering an old bar) “Now they’re invading this bar. Will we have no place left to hang out?” —Seminole Heights
5) Customer: “I don’t normally eat meat, so I’ll just get the steak well done. That’s okay, right?”
Server “Absolutely. The steak is not vegetarian, though.”
Customer “Oh, well, but if it’s well done does that count?”
Server “I believe it is still considered meat even if it is cooked well done.”
Customer: (blank stare) —Seminole Heights
6) “People tell me my body looks like a melted candle.” —Portlandia
7) Two hipster chefs are fighting over whether or not chicken and waffles is worthy of serious culinary consideration. One yells, “Chicken and waffles is bullshit!”—Seminole Heights
8) Spoken by several people in succession: “I’m a DJ. Wanna come to my DJ night?” —Seminole Heights
9) “… where young people go to retire.” —Portlandia
10. “Put a bird on it.“ —Portlandia
1) Portlandia; 2) Portlandia; 3) Portlandia; 4) Seminole Heights; 5) Seminole Heights;
6) Portlandia; 7) Seminole Heights; 8) Seminole Heights; 9) Portlandia; 10) Portlandia
This article appears in Apr 4-10, 2013.