Senator Scott? President Trump? Welcome to the batsh*ttening

As the candidate rosters for the 2016 U.S. Senate and presidential races solidify, Tampa Bay Times political editor Adam Smith is reporting that Governor Rick Scott has his beady little eyes on an election two years hence, the 2018 midterms.

That's when Democratic U.S. Senator Bill Nelson's seat will be up, and it's unclear what Nelson has on his mind at the moment; whether he'll go for a gubernatorial run. We're not sure if we're glad he didn't challenge Scott last year (Scott could have appointed some nutjob to his seat, or a placeholder) or if he's kicking himself (he might've had a better shot than Charlie Crist, and was rumored to have been thinking about running if he didn't think Crist could pull it off).

If Nelson leaves his seat, and Scott's money once again proves effective at hypnotizing Floridians (after all, Democrats, shame on them, do tend to blow off midterms) we could end up in nightmare scenario.

Think about it:

Say Rubio doesn't end up smooth-talking his way into the presidency this time around and doesn't opt for executive cred via the governor's mansion, but some other clown does make it in. Say this one. Or this one. Or this one. Or this one. Or, sweet Jesus take the wheel, this one.

(That last one was Donald Trump, but maybe he'll flake.)

If Scott won Nelson's former seat, and Rubio kept his, that would mean Florida would be represented in the U.S. Senate by two people who say they deny climate change because they're not scientists, yet are against gay marriage despite not being Biblical scholars.

We wouldn't have a rational counterbalance int the Senate on things like offshore drilling off of Florida's coast, which someone like Trump would probably be way into.

On the flip side, if Donald Trump does run, and (shudder) get elected, maybe Jon Stewart will come out of retirement. Plus, we can dust off those hilarious old image macros from 2011 like this one.

The onslaught of funny would almost make up for the insane laws they would pass to protect the rights of well-off Christians under the guise of preserving American exceptionalism or whatever the next bullshit populist phrase that tests well among their target demographics will be.

…Unless, you know, the Democrats come with a few boy and girl wonder candidates who can, ahem, trump the rest.

This article appears in Mar 12-18, 2015.