Sexual expectations: the swinger type

Some couples have yet to learn the crucial swinger's rule that meeting a new couple at a club doesn't guarantee sex.  Maybe I won't be as attracted to you as I initially thought.  Since I'm a very visual person, for me swinging is mostly about physical attraction.  But, often I get so immersed in the spirit of the club and socializing, that I don't want to leave right away to have sex with someone I just met. This doesn't mean I don't want to have sex with you; it just means not yet.  This is upsetting for some couples who just want to get down to business.  I admit that closing down the club and then moving on to sex makes for a long, sleepless night, but that's part of the fun of going to a swinger club.  If we meet at Chili's first, we probably aren't going to hang out for the next six hours before hooking up. Atmosphere and location play huge rolls in sex.


Couples I have dated several times and had multiple sexcapades with shouldn't expect sex at the next encounter either.  My favorite thing about swinging is trying on someone new.  Accepting a swinger date invitation with me doesn't guarantee sex.


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I used to think that if I paid to get into a swingers club (anywhere from $20-$100), I deserved some sex out of the deal.  This logic wore off pretty quickly, though the desire and intention haven't.  Many times Soccer Dad and I go to swingers clubs just to hang around like minded people, flirt shamelessly, and behave borderline inappropriately. Believe it or not, sometimes we aren't even looking for sex.

Swinger clubs are sexually charged by nature.  The music is typically sexual and the women are dressed sexy. Combine this with a little alcohol and the party girl in me comes out.  At this point I do expect sex and it usually happens.  Sometimes it's with a friend, sometimes with a stranger, and sometimes with Soccer Dad.  It's really a win win situation for me.

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