He has a limp dick: I've met a handful of limp dicks in my life. The limp dick's owner may have plenty of ambition, but unless his penis is hard enough to enter and stay inside me after several thrusts, this doesn't count as sex.
I can't remember it: Drinking and sex don't equal a good time if this good time can't be recalled. I've been out many times, drinking my share of Cosmopolitains, only to wake up wondering what happened. If I can't remember his or her name, they don't count as sex partners.
No one completely undressed: After a slow night at a swinger's party, Soccer Dad and I enticed a young couple back to our room. They pulled down their pants, then ours, and we proceeded to fuck without exchanging words. Because no one spoke and our clothes didn't actually come off, these didn't count as sex partners.
He was a 10 second Tom: If a master of jack rabbit sex puts it in and takes it out to cum before the first "O" leaves my mouth, this doesn't count as a sex partner.
I didn't enjoy it: I've been with a few men who where just plain lousy at sex. This happens for several reasons: he didn't turn me on, his dick was nearly undetectable, he had lame moves, or his performance was so awkward that I wished I stayed home to watch Survivor reruns. This doesn't count as a sex partner.
With that said, I still have no idea how many sexual partners I've had. I don't keep a tally sheet or a record of events attended, and I don't maintain contact with most of my sexual partners.
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