THE RECALL OF ROGER WOOD SAUSAGES
This just in: There's stuff in sausage that's bad for you.
THAT THERE'S A SAUSAGE COMPANY CALLED "ROGER WOOD"
Adolescent mind...bursting...with dick jokes...
HYBRID SALES UP 81%
Seems like a damn good time to tap ANWR.
POPULARITY CONTEST ON CMT
Residents of Vega, Texas vote off imported big-city folks at weekly town hall meetings. Forced Jesus-lovin' has never been this fun.
THE "REMAKING" OF VANILLA ICE ON VH1
Memo to Rob Van Winlke's image handlers: kill yourself.
BABYSITTER STRIPS FOR CURIOUS 4-YEAR-OLD BOY
If only my nads had dropped by that age …
THE SEAN CONNERY IMPERSONATOR IN BRANDON'S VOLKSWAGEN RADIO ADS
My four-year-old niece sounds more like him.
Early proofs for Rand McNally's 2007 World Atlas are calling it New Texas.
EXTINCT WOODPECKER FOUND IN ARKANSAS
Morals, sadly, still extinct in Florida.
It was bound to happen. But don't worry - the creators "do not oppose any person, pet, or living thing that have cancer." Just the jackasses wearing yellow bracelets.
-Compiled by Planet Staff