SHOT GUN
TIMES WRITER FIRED
Writing nasty stuff about Ronda can get you canned? Oh shit.
SEX ON LOST
Finally. (Although apparently it gets you killed.)
GRAND-POP SHOT
EU spending $1.2 million to retrain German hookers as caregivers for the elderly.
SODAS OUT OF PUBLIC SCHOOLS
As long as they don't touch the trade in weed.
COLBERT
How much does he get paid for saying Bush sucks?
BEERCAN STEAK
Malio to reopen steakhouse in Rivergate Tower. Men over 60 in open-necked shirts and gold chains have a place to gather again.
PHENERGAN AND AMBIEN
Rep. Patrick Kennedy blames pills; swears he wasn't drinking. Also tells cops he's not liberal. And his uncle didn't sleep with Marilyn Monroe. Either of them.
LAWN-WATERING CRACKDOWN
As long as they don't touch the trade in weed.
REDNER RUNNING?
He hints he might campaign (again) for Hillsborough County Commission, an idea as nutty as Ronda Storms managing the Mons Venus. Wait a second...
OIL COULD HIT $100 A BARREL
Still cheaper than a 2005 Mercedes Maybach.
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Compiled by Weekly Planet staff
