Sh*t happened 1/13/15: CENTCOM hack, big industry attacks craft beer (again), Goody Goody

They fought their way through the foliage, toward the light. Finally, Maxwell hacked through one last tangle of vines, and they emerged into a clearing. "We made it," he said. "It's Tuesday." Yet their jubilation was uneasy; each could still hear his Monday rampaging behind him, just out of sight.

U.S. Central Command (CENTCOM)
, the military body in charge of operations in the Middle East that's headquartered at MacDill AFB in Tampa, had its Twitter and YouTube profiles hijacked by hackers claiming allegiance to ISIS. According to a spokesperson, only the social media profiles were hacked, no sensitive information was stolen and there's no proof it was even ISIS beyond the hackers' words. So, when a big media company is hacked by an enemy state, it's a reason to freak the fuck out, but when the military's online properties are breached, it's no big deal? I feel safer already.

The Florida Independent Spirits Association — an organization made up completely of liquor retailers — has teamed up with Big Beer distributors in challenging the laws that let Florida craft breweries sell their own products in on-site tasting rooms. It's been estimated that, while growing, craft beer accounts for about 6% of the booze market. SIX PERCENT. When 94% isn't enough for you, you might as well change your name to Montgomery Burns.

A 49-year-old Clearwater man was arrested and charged with smashing the glass of various Gulf to Bay retailers and stealing dozens of shirts and pairs of jeans "to buy drugs and support his family." Priorities, man.

And finally, The Columbia Restaurant Group is soliciting the community's opinions on where it should open a new version of the classic/legendary Tampa burger joint Goody Goody. As with most other questions asked by a company on the internet about where to put something, favorite responses include "in my mouth," "in your butt" and "1957, where it belongs."

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