Wednesday was a big day for Sheriff's Offices around the Bay Area — and for the type of folks with whom they usually interact, as well.
A custom rug made for the new Pinellas County Sheriff's headquarters featuring the organization's seal was discovered to contain the typo "In Dog We Trust." "This will totally be worth it," said the rug-maker who had two beers at lunch that day, and didn't think about the way he'd feel every time he got pulled over, for the rest of his life.
An investigation by the Pasco County Sheriff's Office into an inmate's September escape from a work detail led to the discovery of an operation smuggling contraband to the inmates, and the arrests of two strippers and a corrections official. Investigators say the work detail was allowed alcohol and "conjugal visits" among other treats. See? That's why you get into stupid, small-time crime that's almost certainly going to get you caught — for the perks, like illegal Fritos and a handjob from a 45-year-old exotic dancer.
And finally, A 14-year-old arrested near University Mall for carrying a handgun and extra ammunition has reportedly been arrested 14 times since 2010, including previous concealed weapons charges and grand theft; his previous arrest before yesterday was just 11 days ago. Hopefully this completes all the stamps on his Jail Club card, and qualifies him for that free automatic upgrade to Big Time Real Adult Prison for a few decades.
This article appears in Jan 8-14, 2015.