Sh*t happened 1/21/16: Stolen puppy found, Floridians dig Trump, Gasparilla's zero drone tolerance

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Hi! It's Thursday, which means our favorite rough beast Friday is slouching toward us once again. But first, yesterday's bits:

The puppy that crackhead stole and traded for drugs and cash has been located. People who think being branded with the Microchip of Satan is a bad thing are dumb.

Recent polling shows Florida Republicans really, really like Donald Trump. Honk if you're shocked.

In preparation for the upcoming annual Gasparilla festivities, authorities are reminding people not to do dumb shit in public, and emphasizing a "no drones" policy in addition to the usual "no underage drinking" and "no pissing all over some Bayshore millionaire's decorative yard wall" admonitions. Inevitable headline: "Drunken Pilot Crashes Drone into Urinating Teen."

And finally, a couple of scientists say they have compelling evidence that there's a ninth planet in our solar system the size of Neptune, lurking out there in an elliptical orbit beyond Pluto. Or you know, Starkiller Base or Fifth Element scenario, whatever, don't panic...

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