Ah, Thursday. The very tip of the weekend is just barely in sight, like the first rays of the sun as they rise above the eastern horizon after a long night on an angry sea. Rejoice, and then, because you're human, give in to the temptation to look back at what you've endured.
The Florida State Fair Authority announced new security measures for this year's fair, updated in the wake of the death of a 14-year-old trying to cross I-4 on foot last year, among other incidents. The improvements — including raised observation platforms, a wider midway thoroughfare and command center monitoring over 200 surveillance cameras — all seem prudent. But what does it say that a lot of us would consider adding the same types of security fortifications once associated with prisons and cult compounds to our annual state fair "prudent"?
The California Department of Public Health declared electronic cigarettes to be a health threat, and recommended that they be regulated as strictly as traditional tobacco products. California. Where the atmosphere is made up of equal parts earthquake-tossed asbestos, auto exhaust and film-industry failure. If they're worried, a Lucky Strike is probably safer.
A treasure hunter who absconded with the proceeds of more than $50 million in gold recovered from a wreck off the coast of South Carolina was arrested in a luxury Boca Raton hotel after more than two years on the run. He was called "one of the most intelligent fugitives ever sought" by people in the U.S. Marshal Service, who apparently couldn't conceive of getting further away than Boca Raton with millions and millions of dollars at one's disposal.
And finally, credit card promoter and tireless listicle churner NerdWallet named St. Petersburg Florida's number-one destination among millennials. If you're not sure exactly what generational category into which you fit, try this little test: If this information means nothing to you, you're a Baby Boomer, and if you're irritated that the 'Burg has just swapped the favor of one of humanity's most annoying generations for that of another, you're definitely a Gen X'er.
Image of the Florida State Fair by Quadell via Wikimedia Commons. Sh*t Happened will return Thursday, Feb. 5.
This article appears in Jan 22-28, 2015.