Langstrom watched the black smoke rise.
Watkins was agitated. "How could they do that, Pete?" The little man paced, as if looking for something to do with his clenching, unclenching hands. "He was their leader!"
"People don't want a leader, Max," said Langstrom, "they just want somebody to blame." He jumped down from the window and picked up his pack. "Total freedom from accountability — that's the real American dream."
So the leader of the free world went on TV and announced he was going to try to do something about the biggest homegrown problem his own country has ever faced, and he cried while he talked about it, and his detractors found his intensity of emotion hilarious. HILARIOUS. It was the classiest thing I've seen since the fifth grade, when John broke his leg and Grady kicked his crutches out from under him so he'd fall in dogshit. (Disclosure: That fifth-grade story might not have actually happened, but you get the point — vulnerability, infantile douchebags with no self-esteem, etc.)
Florida high school graduation rates for 2015 were the highest in more than a decade, at just under 78%. There's something to be said for education on the high C's — sorry, I'll show myself out.
The Florida Aquarium revealed plans for a new outdoor water play area as part of its $15 million expansion project. In related news, no one at the Florida Aquarium got back to me about my idea for a weighted bed with attached air tanks that allow you to literally sleep with the fishes…
And finally, Wallethub's latest infodump says Tampa is the nation's 3rd best city for an active lifestyle. Sure, of course; walkers and cyclists are burning some serious calories and honing coordination skills while they're out there avoiding psychotic drivers.
This article appears in Dec 31, 2015 – Jan 6, 2016.
