I can remember being a kid, standing at the edge of a mountainous sand dune — I think my parents had dragged us to North Carolina for a family vacation trip — and staring out over the barrier island, at the powerful, surging waves of the Atlantic. I marveled at the power of nature, and felt a kindred stirring within myself, as if I was primally tapped into that unlimited kinetic potential, and I could change the face of the earth, given the time and the will.
Yeah, Tuesdays never feel like that.
So, the debate between the highest-profile Democratic presidential candidates was on last night. It was mostly civil! ("Mostly civil" is code for "not as boring as you'd feared, but also very definitely Trumpless.")
In good news for schadenfreude and bizarre-criminal-reenactment addicts everywhere, a Bay area property management veteran has created a new TV series called Condo Cops about all the weird shit local tenants have gotten up to over the years. The show will just run locally on CW44 starting October 25, but we predict it'll go national about 14 seconds after people hear about the guy who installed a working toilet on his front porch.
St. Pete mayor Rick Kriseman shared his preferred list of ways to spend the city's $6.5 million in Deepwater Horizon settlement money. Reportedly not on the list: A new way to not have to shunt shitwater into Clam Bayou when it rains real hard.
Remember Korn? (The nu-metal band, not the misspelled vegetable.) They're releasing a 300-page book chronicling their 20-year history in conjunction with their current tour. I suppose a joke about Korn fans and literacy might be considered too easy, but c'mon, they did the song with the nursery rhymes — the actual nursery rhymes. (Also, as with most books of this sort, it's mostly pictures, many of which will undoubtedly further embitter Slayer's lighting director, who did a lot of that stuff first on a budget of, like, an eight-ball and six light bulbs.)
And finally, successful presidential candidate meta-cosplayer and bearer of seasonally appropriate plumage Donald Trump will host Saturday Night Live on November 7. "I give up — you know, I thought things would slow down as I got older, but it's just more and more. I'd rather retire now, before everything I've done is rendered completely meaningless," said irony over single-malt scotch during a recent interview at one of Manhattan's tonier watering holes.