After kicking Kyle Brindza loose (Ha! Get it?), the Bucs brought Connor Barth back on board. Pirate-themed jokes were considered — you know, they made him walk the plank but his foot gave out halfway, etc. — but we just thought the direct approach was best. After all, we rib for your pleasure. *runs offstage and jumps through plate-glass window*
A former assistant to Florida native MLB pitcher Brandon Arroyo was arrested for stealing the ballplayer's yacht and selling it for a fraction of its actual value. Attention rich folks: When you ask an underling about your yacht and they're all, "Oh, that? That sunk," it's OK to be suspicious.
A group of students wants USF to remove late congressman C. W. Bill Young's name from a university building over the legislator's membership on a '60s committee that outed and blacklisted gay students and faculty members, and opposed integration. Those resisting the idea point out that the building houses USF's ROTC program, and that Young did much for the military and veterans. Kids, let this be a lesson: if you have to be involved in something terrible and hateful, make sure you're also involved in something above reproach — like, just start a scholarship for every line of rockets your family's company manufactures, or whatever.
And finally, the company that built the latest Ten Commandments monument on the Oklahoma Capitol grounds — you know, the one that was made after somebody crashed their car into the original, and was moved from the capitol to a college campus earlier this week because it was a blatant violation of the constitutionally mandated separation of church and state — hasn't been paid for its work. Because nobody's better at not paying up than rich, entitled politicians beholden to tax-exempt religious organizations who don't get their way.