It took fewer than 18 months for a lone gunman to displace Pulse as the deadliest mass shooting in modern American history by killing 50 and wounding more than 200 at a country music festival in Las Vegas last night. Will it be as long before the next record is set? No, it probably won't. Can we talk seriously about gun control now? No, we probably can't.
FRIDAY, SEPT. 29:
Stan Lee made good on his word and appeared at MegaCon, where he took part in a panel discussion and auctioned off some unique items and experiences to raise money for Hurricane Irma relief. Has anybody else called him the real superhero yet on their site? What? Everybody did? OK, never mind.
Three former chiefs of the now-defunct Hernando Beach Volunteer Fire Department were arrested and charged with felony fraud. Perhaps one or more of the questions in the interview process should've centered around the definition of the word "volunteer."
Pinellas County Mosquito Control confirmed that some chickens in St. Pete tested positive for the mosquito-borne West Nile virus. These were sentinel chickens kept and monitored for exactly this purpose, so the eggs from Cecil's cruelty-free carbon-neutral coop in North Kenwood are probably still fine for making your locavore omelet. It's the bugs, not the birds, you've gotta watch out for.
SATURDAY, SEPT. 30:
A 69-year-old man was arrested for DUI in Largo after pulling out of a bar's parking lot and directly into the path of a police vehicle with its lights and siren on. How much you want to bet he said to himself "all right, dude, you can do this, just maintain" like seconds before it happened?
SUNDAY, OCT. 1:
Florida launched a new online voter registration website, registertovoteflorida.gov. There. It's even fucking easier now. Will you please actually do it?
And finally, Buccaneers kicker Nick Folk made a last-second field goal to beat the Giants 25-23 after blowing two other FG attempts and missing an extra point during the game, while protesters gathered outside the stadium to register their disapproval of players kneeling during the National Anthem — which the players do, again, solely to register their own disapproval of unarmed black men being shot by cops. And thus, for one single, beautiful Sunday, American professional football was actually interesting.
