Good morning! It's the 5th, and your rent is nearly overdue. Pay your rent, slacker.
The latest tropical depression to have Bay area residents going "are you kidding me with this?" became Tropical Storm Nate while you were sleeping, but also veered further west, causing people who moved to Louisiana after Hurricane Katrina to take a sudden interest in New Orleans' ongoing water diversion issues this morning. "Thanks, but we're probably still gonna go ahead and surf the foamy edge of panic for a few more days if that's all right with you," said all my neighbors.
Speaking of hurricane damage, Florida Governor (and maybe, but probably not, The Immortal Father of The Nightbrood) Rick Scott said it's time to get back down to the Keys and start spending some money. Of course, he said it at a Marriott and not in front of one of Key West's world-famous landmark family-owned little bars or restaurants, because most of those are still kindling and moldering seaweed.
Meanwhile, contractors hired to haul away Hillsborough County's Irma debris have only done 20 percent of the job and some are now under investigation by the Florida Attorney General's Office — that's happening in Sarasota County, as well. Read a Hiaasen novel, people.
The St. Petersburg City Council approved Mayor Rick Kirseman's $540 million budget for the 'Burg. That amount will ostensibly be split between wastewater infrastructure repair and drone video footage of people painting murals to post at hipcitiesforaffluentmillennials.com.
And finally, Tom Petty fans started petition to build a statue of the late, beloved rocker in his hometown of Gainesville, which, if erected, would finally give college students in the city a place to get high.
This article appears in Oct 5-12, 2017.