Holy crap, what was yesterday all about? Let's review:
Tampa Democrat Arthenia Joyner was unanimously elected by the state's Senate Democratic Caucus to be the minority party's leader in Tallahassee. Issues Joyner is said to be planning to unsuccessfully address include raising the minimum wage, expanding Medicaid in the state and — well, pick one, really.
A couple of moronic sociopaths fired shots at a school bus belonging to nonprofit educational program AMIKids Tampa, which works with at-risk youth. That's not what they meant by "at-risk," jackholes.
Speaking of crimes committed by cretins possessed of firearms, the St. Petersburg Police arrested a pair of young men (16 and 17) suspected of a series of carjackings and strong-arm robberies going back at least a week.
Metallica, a rusty-hulled metal band that occasionally resurfaces on the pop-cultural sonar like the shadowy signature of a titanic ghost ship from which the souls of the living have long since departed, began its week-long residency on CBS's Late Late Show, aka The One With Craig Ferguson. And, in all seriousness, as much as it sucks, that's by far the second-worst thing to happen to a Ferguson on Monday...
...Because Missouri Governor Jay Nixon just signed an executive order declaring a state of emergency for the area surrounding the St. Louis suburb where police officer Darren Wilson shot and killed unarmed teenager Michael Brown exactly 100 days ago yesterday. The grand jury convened to decide whether or not to charge Wilson with any crimes relevant to his actions on the day he ended Brown's life is expected to reach a conclusion any day now.