Let's gutter-kick Monday's corpse as we pass it on our way to the Kahwa, shall we? We shall.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are skirting their stalled negotiations with the Tampa Sports Authority by seeking alternate public funding for upgrades to Raymond James Stadium through application to a state-run, taxpayer-funded incentive program for Florida sports franchises. Get a fucking Kickstarter like everybody else, cheapskates.
Tampa's Dowdell Middle School was evacuated and between 6 to 9 students and staff were reportedly treated on site while emergency crews searched for a gas leak. If you like to yell about gas leaks at city council meetings and have been itching to shove those uppity poison-fluoride and wastewater people the hell out of your way, NOW IS YOUR TIME.
A Polk County teacher was arrested for exposing his ninth-grade students to porn by allegedly leaving explicit images on his phone in plain sight. Hmmm ... where on the TackyMeter(tm) would an "educational experience" joke fall, do you think?
And finally, a new Star Trek TV series is in the works to premiere in 2017. Seriously. Who does a guy have to incinerate with a laser blaster to get some Black Hole reboot love around here?