Sh*t happened 11/4/15: Wheeler-Brown wins, hit-and-run suspect arrested, Lil Wayne not a Lannister

Tuesday can sometimes be Monday's walk of shame just trying to get to Wednesday without anybody noticing it's basically wearing the same stuff. Not yesterday, though. We see you, Tuesday! We see you, and we don't shame you, Tuesday. You be you.

In St. Pete, the big news was that Lisa Wheeler-Brown won the highly, highly, highly competitive race to represent District 7 on the City Council, beating the more experienced Will Newton, brother to outgoing councilman Wengay "Newt" Newton. Huzzah! Congratulations to the other two candidates we endorsed, who also won.

In other big Pinellas news, a 45-year-old area man was arrested and charged with the Clearwater hit-and-run that killed two Illinois tourists last month. No joke here either, we're just glad that the first real steps have been taken toward justice, and closure for the victims' loved ones.

State statistics reveal that nearly 11,000 rape kits remain unprocessed in Florida. Perhaps there actually IS a better use for taxpayer money than settling lawsuits against the administration...

I know you've all heard about it by now, but blah blah, Mississippi man bombs Walmart over refusal to sell Confederate flags, yadda yadda, SEO keywords, something something joke about how some people perfectly personify the reason why the thing they oppose is an excellent idea, aaand we're out.

And finally, Lil Wayne, a rapper who prefers not to draw attention to himself, his manner of expressing himself visually or his lifestyle, had his Miami beach house raided by officers of the court looking to seize certain assets to offset a $2 million outstanding debt the MC owes a company that leases luxury personal jets. After they left, Wayne was reportedly relieved that they never found The Grill Vault, which, of course, can only be accessed through a false wall in the Sizzurp Cellar.

Scroll to read more News Feature articles


Join Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.