Happy All Saints Day! Check out yesterday's news before they go marching in. (Do they go marching in? They don't, do they? That sucks. But at least All Saints is going to play, right? Right?)
The man accused of plowing a rented truck into a bike path in lower Manhattan yesterday, killing 8 and injuring a dozen more, was reportedly carrying a driver's license listing his address as a Tampa apartment complex. Because of course he was.
Do you like black licorice? Did your kid get a big haul of black licorice last night from some neighbors that obviously hate kids, and hand it over to you because she knows adults are weird and like gross stuff like black licorice? Well, don't eat too much of it too often, because black licorice is officially the new thing that's going to kill you. But you can alleviate its negative effects by biting off both ends and using it as a straw for your coffee, according to scientific findings I just now made up.
Oh, hey, a car-sized hole opened up in the middle of St. Pete's 34th Street South. Is this somehow related to decrepit stormwater runoff infrastructure? *Shakes Magic 8 Ball* All signs point to yes. (Also, despite what you might've heard, Car-Sized Hole was not my nickname in high school.)
And finally, someone stole four calves — as in young cows, not the parts of people's legs behind their shins — from Polk City pastures during the week leading up to Halloween. A 600-pound heifer is also missing. Werewolf? We're thinking werewolf. Either that, or somebody went just a little bit overboard on their decorations this year. (Also, despite what you might've heard, 600-Pound Heifer was not my nickname in... never mind, see you tomorrow.)
