Is it Thursday already? Then let us do the Thursday Dance, which is awesome because it leaves one hand free for reading this rundown of Wednesday's local headlines on your phone. (Just basically pretend you're recent Golden Globe winner Sam Rockwell.)
Pasco County cops tracked down a suspect in an attempted homicide yesterday when the suspect had a pizza delivered to the apartment complex they were staking out. FYI: Being hangry is not an acceptable defense for pulling out a gun and firing it when your drug deal starts to go a little less than smoothly.
Speaking of drug deals, a 55-year-old Citrus County elementary school teacher was arrested yesterday and charged with selling pot out of her home. Look, before we go off gnashing and wailing and thinking of the children, she probably wasn't selling pot to elementary school kids. She was probably selling pot to the parents of elementary school kids, and as we all know, a parent of an elementary school kid needs and deserves a little smoke 'n' chill every once in a while.
Salmon cannon. SALMON CANNON. #salmoncannon
Some total shitbag used a car to tear up West Tampa Little League's baseball field so badly last night that the league may not be able to practice tonight. For inspiration regarding how to deal with such shitbags, I highly recommend checking out the first novel in F. Paul Wilson's "Repairman Jack" series, The Tomb. But definitely check your porch cams either way, neighbors.
And finally, Miami-based state Senator Annette Taddeo introduced a bill to help create new financial incentives for filmmakers to do their thing in Florida. People who make movies and TV go where they get breaks, like Georgia or Vancouver, and Florida hasn't offered any of note in years. Incentivizing film and TV production is very different than offering tax breaks and other enticements to big corporations, because it's cheaper and creates an immediate ROI in jobs, in-state spending and cultural cachet, as opposed to betting millions on the vague possibility that somebody's college buddy might eventually create 20 low-wage jobs by opening a call center in Jacksonville for his daddy's business.
This article appears in Jan 11-18, 2018.