Good morning! Let's forget about the national news scene for a bit, and just ruminate on some of yesterday's more interesting Bay area happenings. DISCLAIMER: "Interesting" can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people — your mileage may vary.
Well, it looks like Lightning team captain Steven Stamkos will be out indefinitely with torn cartilage in his left knee. Jeez, it's like his body doesn't even care about the people who depend on watching it get the shit beaten out of it three times a week for a minimum of seven months out of every year anymore.
Speaking of everything about sports being weird, the folks behind the College Football Playoff National Championship (great name) announced a massive free concert headlined by Usher, Flo Rida and Gavin DeGraw to coincide with the actual athletic event being held in Tampa in January. It's almost as if they looked at everything wrong with overblown, overhyped, overemphasized college sports in America and went, "but how can we make it more terrible?"
A Pasco woman was arrested for attempting to "rent" two homes that didn't belong to her. In the grifting game, they call that "the short Florida," because it's immediately recognizable as a dumb con that nobody should do. (Not to be confused with "The Short Florida" at the Sunrise Diner, which is a short stack with orange-pineapple marmalade instead of syrup.)
And finally, traffic on I-75 in Sarasota was disrupted when the carcasses of several pigs fell off a truck. No incidents of road rage were reported, as motorists simply grinned and boar it, and that's my time, I'm outta here, you've been a wonderful audience.
