Sh*t Happened 1/18/17: Gun background checks soar in Florida, pelican deaths investigated, Midtown Walmart grocery to close

"If it isn't one thing, it's another," said somebody with an enviably pragmatic grasp of the obvious.

For the first time ever, the number of background checks conducted on people wanting to buy a gun in the state of Florida topped 1 million in 2016. The year-over-year rise in applications was also the highest ever. I feel safer already.

Local and state authorities and scientists are trying to figure out what's making St. Pete area pelicans deathly ill. Anybody who saw the original Cabin Fever is already holed up in a cave somewhere with tequila and a very new, very intense interest in prayer.

Walmart is closing its "Neighborhood Market" in Midtown, leaving the area once again without convenient access to healthy, affordable groceries despite St. Pete's offer to subsidize the location for the good of the neighborhood. I'm not saying this is an opportunity for a progressive experiment along the lines of a contemporary food co-op or other alternative, but I'm certainly thinking it very loudly in the direction of downtown. Otherwise, somebody at least call Aldi, OK?

And finally, accused Orlando cop-killer Markeith Loyd was captured at an abandoned home after a nine-day manhunt that saw another officer killed in a traffic accident. The only thing we can say about the whole senseless, tragic episode is that, thankfully, no one else was injured — and that, regrettably, doesn't feel like anywhere near enough.

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