This morning, let's look beyond our own communities for the sake of assuring ourselves that it's not just us, OK?
A bunch of folks who think there's a swarthy-skinned devil hiding under their bed with a dirty bomb went on national TV and engaged in what can only be described as the world's most embarrassing "your mama so fat"-style name-calling competition. Candidate options preferable to all of them: an old Casio calculator watch; olive loaf; those two bluejays that fight constantly over that one tree in your yard.
Both of yesterday's bicoastal bomb threats — the one in LA that got all the schools closed and the one in NYC that didn't — seem to have originated from a porny-named email service associated with one of the internet's most heavily dickbag-populated environs. Our next move in securing ourselves against terrorism? Paying racist 17-year-olds to tell old white men whether or not something might be a shitty joke.
And finally, a Birmingham, AL city councilman got into a physical altercation with the mayor during a meeting; both went to the hospital, and it looks like each is charging the other with assault. See, this is why you punch public servants in public instead of going into a room to "privately discuss your differences." Transparency in government, people.