Welcome to the final Sh*t happened of 2015. Devour it all at once, or check out one item every 30 minutes to eat up an entire hour-and-a-half of your dragging, empty-office last day of the year. We're glad you've got nothing better to do! Have a safe and happy New Year's Eve, everyone, and we'll meet you back here on Monday.

A dude in Bradenton tried to hand off a syringe of heroin to his hospital-bound bro by hiding it in a burrito. Two things, beyond the obvious "fucking seriously?": 1) Kudos to the orderly for finding it, but wow, gross how closely he's examining other people's food, and 2) Don't let the paranoid cultural climate lead to some kind of burrito blackout — riots in the streets, man. Keep calm, burrito on, etc.

Beloved comedic entertainer and (by now) assumed serial rapist Bill Cosby was arrested and charged with sexual assault. It's not our place as a news outlet to insinuate Cosby's guilt, and he will have his day in court; we're just not having a glass wine and a "mood-setter" with the guy in the meantime, you know?

And finally, allow us to leave you with the best headline of 2015, which website Jezebel saved until just under the buzzer: "Musical Tampon Allows Fetuses to Listen to Your Mixtape in the Womb." You're welcome.

This article appears in Dec 31, 2015 – Jan 6, 2016.