Sh*t Happened 12/18/17: Local crime, cruise goes to sh*t, stone crab season disappointing

Claws and flaws, people, claws and flaws.

Good morning! Hope you're not still in Atlanta, waiting on your flight.

FRIDAY, DEC. 15:

Dear car burglars, if you're going to try to break into a parked automobile, you might want to make sure there isn't a cop sitting in it. That should be, like, one of the first things you do.

Remember that Polk County vet who was charged with animal cruelty back in August after authorities found 30 neglected horses, among other animals? She still has her license to practice veterinary medicine, even though she's been charged again since that incident. So maybe write her name down on a piece of paper, and when your horse gets sick, you can pull out that piece of paper and go, "Oh, right, not her."

SATURDAY, DEC. 16:

Some people really enjoy cruises. Others think the chance of oh, say, being one of 200-plus passengers to catch a stomach bug and turn a giant ship into a floating clogged toilet is a little too high. I'm with others.

SUNDAY, DEC. 17:

Don't you hate when you're just walking through the neighborhood with your kids and you decide to steal the projector that's part of somebody's Christmas decorations and somehow it turns into six charges, including resisting arrest and giving false identification? Yeah, it sucks when that happens. If only there were a way to keep that from happening.

Local anglers and fish market owners are saying this year's stone crab season is a bad one, and pointing to Hurricane Irma as a possible reason why the catch is so low. In some places the shortage apparently has claws going for nearly double last year's prices. If you're paying 30 bucks a pound to eat what amounts to a meaty bug's hand, man, I don't know what to tell you.

And finally, the homeowners who provided video of the Seminole Heights shooter to police sure do want to be recognized for their part in the investigation. Like, a lot. Enough to risk possibly coming off like whiny fame-seekers on a local news website, at least.

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