Here's hoping your guardian angel was showing you an alternate timeline in which you were never born in order to restore your will to live, and meanwhile all the townspeople came together to save you from Old Man Potter's wicked plot to frame you for embezzlement.
For the Christmas Day edition of Shit Happened, we are sipping mimosas in the sun and petting our dogs. We wish you and yours the same bliss on this day and all days that follow. There's a limited supply of those, after all.
We could dwell on the sad and the absurd like we do most days — like the judge who on Friday ruled in favor of greyhound trainers who may have given their dogs cocaine and other substances, or, just...stuff — but today is about coming together. Religious differences don't matter (this writer is basically a pagan, with a Zoroastrian tenet or two mixed in for fun — all religions do it!). This is a day to focus on the things we share in common, and recognize that those things far outnumber the factors by which we differ.
So eat, drink, pet your dogs, listen to Joni Mitchell's Blue in its entirety (as God intended), go to the beach and revel in all that brings us together.
For tomorrow, we...have another day off, actually.