Good morning, and happy National Cheat Day, a holiday that couldn't be more American unless we appropriated it from another country, destabilizing that country's infrastructure in the process, and then decided that country sucked and was full of undesirables. Celebrate with some Nacho Fries!
How many full days has it been since a minor brought a gun to a West Central Florida school? Oh, that's right — zero. Zero full days. But hey, as long as a guy somewhere with nothing more valuable to protect than his collection of guns can buy more guns to protect his collection of guns...
Some lawyer is suing the Vinoy's parent company because a valet handed the keys to his $300K Ferrari to someone who wasn't him back in July. Were I writing a sympathetic character for a courtroom drama, "lawyer with $300K Ferrari" would be the option just below "mysterious man with black cape, mustache and briefcase full of souls."
A 71-year-old veteran in Bradenton was sentenced to nine months house arrest and five years probation for scamming the government for more than 20 years by claiming he was blind. I guess — *puts on sunglasses* — nobody saw that coming. (Cue "Who Are You")
Some residents in Riverview are on edge about the goings-on at a nearby rehab facility that's logged more than 400 911 calls since it opened less than two years ago. Where's the line between wanting to support a community resource that's trying to help people, and being worried about your family's safety? Evidently it's where a 23-year-old ducks out of the facility, starts breaking into cars and then, when confronted by a neighbor, shoots himself in the face.
And finally, Tampa native and former Fox 13 News journalist Glenn Selig was reportedly among more than 20 people killed during a Taliban attack on a hotel in Afghanistan over the weekend. Our deepest sympathies to his family, friends and colleagues.