Sh*t Happened 1/26/18: Fake dentist, sick raccoons, impending pot gummy shortage

We're guessing those 80 pounds weren't for personal use.

click to enlarge Oh, Dead Head Teddy, how we'll miss you. -
Oh, Dead Head Teddy, how we'll miss you.

Welcome to Tampa's official Traffic Hell Weekend. Here's something to read while you're waiting for 45 minutes to get from Dale Mabry to the Ashley Street exit. Cheers!

A 42-year-old Tampa man was arrested for practicing dentistry without a license. Please, please, please tell me that between the time they made him stand up and the time they put the handcuffs on him, some cop said, "You know the drill."

Life Imitates Parks & Recreation: Pasco County is apparently being overrun by sick raccoons. When you're trying to reshape your county's image and position it as an emerging suburban outlier and contemporary living destination for commuters outside the area's urban core, the phrase "increase in sick or injured raccoons" is... well, it's a setback.

A 16-year-old Tampa student allegedly fabricated a story about seeing another student with a gun, causing more panic and disruption than sometimes occurs when a gun actually is discovered on campus. Kids, if faking a gun sighting (or posting a fake threat to social media) sounds to you like an acceptable way to avoid a class or a test or a day in school, that's a pretty good sign that you desperately need more days in school.

And finally, Tampa police arrested a 24-year-old man they say had 80 pounds of homemade pot gummies in his house. Think about how much a single gummy candy weighs, then think about 80 pounds of 'em. Was he using garbage sacks of them as beanbag chairs? Anyway, now half of Okeechobee Fest is gonna be real bummed to discover their favorite jam or EDM band is actually kind of terrible.

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