Good morning. It freaking snowed in San Antonio, Texas yesterday. "Where's your global warming now?" asked a heavily armed Texan who is probably still greeting friends with the "Whazzup" from that beer commercial a million years ago.
Howell Donaldson III was indicted by a grand jury for four charges of premeditated murder in the Seminole Heights shootings, announced Hillsborough County State Attorney Andrew Warren in the world's shortest press conference. Yes, you and the press both have millions of questions; we'll have plenty of time to go over them again and again and again in the coming weeks and months. Please distract yourself by shopping in Seminole Heights, thanks — those indie businesses need your attention more than the Facebook comments right now.
Somebody with no concept of personal responsibility dumped four nine-week-old puppies suffering from mange, malnutrition and other results of neglect across the street from the Humane Society of Tampa Bay yesterday morning, rather than walking in and surrendering them and admitting "yeah, I fucked up." Making the fallout of one's poor decisions someone else's problem without any repercussions: It's the New American Dream. The Humane Society is offering a $1,000 reward for information leading to the person's arrest.
Speaking of horrific dog-related news, somebody stole a freezer containing the remains of two deceased dogs awaiting cremation from a Bradenton veterinary hospital. That's, uh, not cool.
And finally, Hillsborough County is apparently feeling the effects of a nationwide Christmas tree shortage. Bet you wish the county had never picked up your post-Irma brush pile now, huh? Ultimate Tim Burton Christmas would've made a nice backup plan.
