Sh*t Happened 1/5/18: Flash-frozen iguanas, locals drafted into Puppy Bowl, fake Doogie sentenced

Yesterday's news, defrosted.

click to enlarge How cold? Stunned-iguana cold. -
How cold? Stunned-iguana cold.

Good morning. Is anybody else starting to feel like they're in a super-low-budget remake of The Day After Tomorrow in which the primary special effect is frozen iguanas falling from trees?

If you happened to be looking back on your own New Year's Eve shenanigans and NYE shenanigans in general and thought to yourself, "Hey, know what? Nobody got hit with stray celebratory gunfire this year," well, c'mon — you should know better. Turns out not even tony Beach Drive is safe from the celebratory actions of armed and intoxicated morons.

Yesterday in cute news, we found out that one of CL's favorite local animal shelters/foster finders/support organizations, Palm Harbor's Suncoast Animal League, will literally have two dogs in the not-really-a-fight that is Animal Planet's annual Puppy Bowl. Are you #TeamRuff or #TeamFluff? (I felt my blood sugar spike to "week before Halloween" levels just typing that.)

Hey, remember that West Palm Beach teen who was arrested back in late 2016 for practicing medicine without a license and conning an elderly "patient" out of 20 grand? He was sentenced to 42 months in prison. His grandmother said he was just trying to help people and got a little overzealous, paving the way for the inevitable Lifetime movie in which soft-focus scenes of him holding liver-spotted hands and desperately searching WebMD for answers stand in for ones of him rifling through jewelry boxes looking for that diamond from TItanic.

And finally, from the "Wait, this didn't happen in Florida?" file: Wait, this didn't happen in Florida?

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