Welcome to the first Monday after Valentine's Day. Hopefully you're basking in some sort of afterglow, but if not, you know — cruel jokes:
FRIDAY, FEB. 12:
Part-time Flowbee cautionary tale and living expression of smug Donald Trump held a rally at Tampa's USF Sun Dome. His critics exercised their First Amendment rights. Everybody had an exciting time except anybody trying to get anywhere else in the northeast part of the county — those folks got boned.
The Ted Cruz campaign walked back an a TV ad featuring a woman who'd previously appeared in softcore porn. Wow, that could've been embarrassing.
The president of the International Olympic Committee announced that no countries had announced their intention to pull out of the Rio games because of the Zika virus. Which means the world only has five months left in which to change its mind and ruin Brazil's economy.
SATURDAY, FEB. 13:
Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia was found dead at a Texas resort. Politics in 2016 just went from "batshit" to "make sure you check under your couch for the remaining signs of the impending apocalypse."
SUNDAY FEB. 14:
And finally, a four-year-old Clearwater boy chased a cat under his house, found a gun, and fired it. Yeah, we're just leaving 'em laying around everywhere now.
