Sh*t happened 2/3/15: Rays minutiae, idiot with a gun, fake GOP Obama rage

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Well, we have gotten through Monday, but not without a level of exposure to absurdity that approached toxic at times. 

Let's take a moment to reflect on these little nuggets of insanity before we push on into Tuesday.

Sorry, Northerners. Punxsutawney Phil, the famous groundhog, saw his shadow yesterday, which means there will be six more weeks of winter. Perhaps we should invest in a second pair of pants.


St. Pete Mayor Rick Kriseman and the Tampa Bay Rays have renewed talk of a stadium deal almost six weeks after the St. Pete City Council rejected a deal that would have let the team explore Hillsborough Country, and would have fined them if they were to leave Pinellas before their contract is up in 2027. At the center of the discussion will be questions about whether the team is entitled to half the proceeds of the land on which the Trop sits once it's redeveloped. Because giving sports teams money for abandoning you is not the way we do things here anymore.

Not far from the Trop, news spread about a young gent who fancies a gun range in his yard, which consists of a pile of sand with wood pallets on it, which he wants to shoot. With his gun. Which is perfectly acceptable — hell, encouraged — by state law. People with children and pets and other fans of not having to potentially coexist with stray bullets are trying to fight it, and even State Sen. Jeff Brandes, a Republican, veteran and a Second Amendment fan, is stepping in.

Remember Cuba? Things were going so nicely in our attempts to restore diplomacy with them until President Raul Castro was all, "Give us back Guantanamo Bay." President Obama was like, no way! But that didn't stop an area Republican from filing a bill that would bar the president from handing over the naval base and secret sleepaway camp without a nod from Congress. 

Former Buc Warren Sapp, a Pro Football Hall of Famer, was busted for trying to solicit a prostitute at a downtown Phoenix hotel lobby at 7 a.m. the morning after the Super Bowl. We get the prostitution thing; it's probably pretty par for the course. But at 7 a.m.?! He must really be one of those morning people.

And finally, President Obama revealed his 9-gazillion-dollar budget plan (nah, really, it's only $4 trillion), which would boost taxes on the rich and multinational corporations, rely on taxes from newly naturalized immigrants, pay for two years of community college for many, and institute paid sick leave for all. Needless to say, Republicans are not fans because too many people would be better off.

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