All right, so Thursday was something of an improvement on Wednesday, and not only because llamas:
A water main break caused the side of a building along St. Pete's popular 600 block to collapse, throwing the future of other businesses in the structure into uncertainty (and causing a local mini-tsunami of internet activity). So basically, God has declared the area "so over." Religious Seminole Heights hipsters are bracing themselves for a sinkhole, or perhaps for all of their craft beer to spontaneously turn red (except for, you know, the red ales).
Speaking of internet furors, a couple of llamas briefly eclipsed the popularity of Drake, the Marvel Cinematic Universe and breathing air combined when they escaped from their duties at an Arizona assisted-living facility and ran amok in the streets. This is exactly what net neutrality is for! Huzzah!
Many-tentacled health-and-life corporation Johnson & Johnson is considering opening a "shared services headquarters operation" in Hillsborough County that would generate up to 700 jobs. That's an awful lot of test subjects just to figure out once and for all if their baby shampoo really delivers on the "no more tears" thing...
And finally, the Tampa Bay Rays announced that they're raising minimum wages for their workers, such as fan hosts, security workers, parking lot attendants and concession servers, to $10 an hour. The dream of attaining a living wage while working at the bottom of a multibillion-dollar industry is still out of reach, but infinitesimally closer to being within sight of the imagination! Double huzzah!