Sh*t happened 2/4/16: Animal abuser registry, King Scott, Bucs ticket price hike

This isn't the Thursday you're looking for.

While the state legislature continues to work itself into a frenzy over absurd bills, at least more beneficial things are going on closer to home: The Hillsborough County Commission, in an effort spearheaded by Commissioner Kevin Beckner, took some early steps toward creating a database of people convicted of abusing animals. "But don't you think such a database could make people who beat or mutilate animals fear for their safety?" one might ask. The answer, of course, is "hopefully."

Speaking of the state legislature and absurd bills, one passed a House committee that would basically give the governor the power to designate people from certain war-torn areas of the world as undesirables, and to track those undesirables, and to make it very hard for those undesirables to come here, and to punish anyone who works for the government or receives government benefits for the crime of helping undesirables. Somebody obviously thinks somebody is king of America's Wang.

And finally, the Bucs, a team whose current record would, in a rational world, dictate that it pay citizens to come to its stadium and watch it play a game of football, is raising the prices of season tickets for the first time in eight seasons. This is a team that hasn't reached the playoffs in any of those last eight seasons, or produced a winning record in the last five. Ha ha, humanity is a broken farce.

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