You made it to Friday! And just like in grade school, your reward is a forced look back at what you've learned.
There was quite the hubbub in yesterday's St. Pete City Council meeting, during which members of the African People's Socialist Party (aka the Uhurus) disrupted the proceedings and a package was left behind, precipitating an evacuation of the building. That's a pretty sure way to shake off the lethargy that generally sets in between property rent-hike complaints and yet another conversation about the Rays…
Speaking of suspicious packages, A 50-year-old Pinellas County teacher was charged with knocking up a 16-year-old student in late 2014. Zing! (Sign up now for my next Comedic Segues class at the Learning Annex; seating is limited.)
Governor Rick Scott's declaration of a health emergency regarding the Zika virus was expanded to include Broward County as the number of cases confirmed in the state rose to 12. Fucking mosquitoes. How come gross exotic diseases are never transmitted via, like, penguins?
And finally, the world of contemporary BMX freestyle lost perhaps its G.O.A.T. when professional athlete Dave Mirra was found dead of an apparent suicide in Greenville, NC. He was just 41.
This article appears in Feb 4-10, 2016.