Some weekends feel more like work than the usual work week, don't they?
FRIDAY, FEB. 5:
Bay area political and business leaders met with Rays reps for the first time to talk about the team's search for an alternative stadium site. Bob Buckhorn jokingly said the meeting was akin to a first date — we can only assume he meant one of those first dates after you've heard your married friends talk about the other person and how they'd be so perfect for you so many times over so many months that you're pretty much over it before you two even have a chance to meet…
The number of guns confiscated at Tampa International Airport is on the rise, with a fourth of the number collected in all of 2015 reached in January alone. Here's compelling evidence that if you drive down Giving No Fucks Avenue long enough, it eventually dead-ends at Irretrievably Stupid Street.
SATURDAY, FEB. 6:
One man died and seven other patrons were injured in a shooting at a Nebraska Avenue nightclub in Tampa during the wee hours of the morning. Let this senseless tragedy serve as a reminder not only that nightclubs are still a thing, but also that the "nightclub experience" can occasionally be even worse than its default state of horrible.
Not to be outdone by Tampa's nightclub rampage, Orlando hosted its own as Saturday became Sunday; two people were killed and 10 others were reportedly injured. We're pretty sure some band has gone on what it called a Nightclub Rampage Tour, but we're also pretty sure this wasn't what they meant.
SUNDAY, FEB. 7:
And finally, the Denver Broncos beat the Carolina Panthers 24-10 to become the champions of Super Bowl L. But the real winners were … kids who want to be defensive players rather than offensive stars? Deadpool? Doritos? Hyundai? I dunno, I didn't watch the damned thing.
This article appears in Feb 4-10, 2016.