Sh*t Happened 2/1/2018: Of Florida Men and grenade launchers

Yesterday's news, raising the bar.

click to enlarge Sh*t Happened 2/1/2018: Of Florida Men and grenade launchers
Pixabay.com

Hi! Here's today's yesterday.

Regions of the Bay area were plagued with 911 call service outages, mirroring similar recent problems in areas throughout the country. Skynet? Skynet. 

If you're here this morning looking for yesterday's most "Florida Man" headline, bless you, sir or madam, and I think you're gonna be pretty happy with what you find here

Running a distant second to 4-day drug-binge man, there's the guy who upped the wrong-way-driver ante considerably by causing and fleeing two accidents along the way before being found in a McDonald's drive-thru. Don't eat that, man — what, are you trying to hurt yourself or something?

We'll wrap up the "questionable driving skills" portion of the column with the one about the road-rager who hit a guy with a machete — from a moving car, mind you — after the guy cut him off. When confronted by cops, the machete-wielder claimed he only wielded the machete because he was the one being followed and harassed by the other driver. Unless the other driver was a particularly motivated zombie, I'm not buying this scenario.

And finally, you can find a lot of weird things at Goodwill — just ask the Sarasota Goodwill employees who discovered a loaded grenade launcher in a donation bin. Man, don't you feel stupid when you're halfway home and you realize you donated something you actually still needed? That feeling is the worst.

Scroll to read more Tampa Bay News articles

Newsletters

Join Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.