Happy [one of those holidays that makes you wonder which of your friends are working and which are not]! Please enjoy this weekend news roundup in lieu of any mail you were hoping to receive.
FRIDAY, FEB. 17:
The guy accused of killing Pinky the flamingo last August was found not competent to stand trial for the crime. A lot of people who think cruelty to animals is the worst thing in the world had no comment about the vile things they said about this dude before we found out he was sick.
A new report finds that Florida had more calls to a national human trafficking hotline in 2016 than ever before, but a representative says that the vast majority of calls have nothing to do with human trafficking — people are calling to ask about food stamps and immigration status and other issues. So, Florida, then.
SATURDAY, FEB. 18:
A 30-year-old dude from Cape Coral was arrested after reportedly creeping around the USF Tampa campus in a clown mask, when cops confronted him and found a collapsible police baton and weed on him. But c'mon — to be fair, they were gonna find a reason to take in the 30-year-old creeping around a college wearing a clown mask anyway, right?
This not-at-all Florida story broke on Saturday: One of the women arrested in a Jacksonville prostitution sting Thursday night offered the undercover cop oral sex in exchange for two tacos from Taco Bell. Have some respect, lady — at least start the negotiations with a Mexican pizza and Nachos Bell Grande.
SUNDAY, FEB. 19:
And finally, at least 18 central Florida criminal cases (and probably many, many more) are boned after the arresting officer in those cases was caught on his own body cam taking money from a DUI suspect. What was he thinking? That he could edit that part out in post-production?
