It's Wednesday. Let's Tuesday:
An aide to a Florida state representative got fired yesterday after emailing some "false flag" conspiracy nonsense about some of the students seen on camera in the wake of the Parkland shooting being paid actors. I know the crazy sometimes looks good on the menu, but I must warn you against ordering — it usually comes out tasteless.
Speaking of bad post-Parkland optics, the Florida House denied a motion to consider banning sales of AR-15 rifles while survivors from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High who'd traveled from Parkland to protest and advocate for stricter gun laws looked on. "No, seriously, it's the NRA, we can't even pretend it's an option and do a little political theater for you guys, sorry, but thoughts and prayers," said most House Republicans through their actions.
On Monday and Tuesday, three students were arrested for making threats relating to shootings at Middleton High, Robinson High and Pasco High. Three's a trend. Oh good, we were hoping "just yelling about shooting up your school when you don't get your way" was gonna be the new "Tide Pods."
And finally, it's not officially spring in Central Florida until somebody discovers an 8-foot gator lurking under their truck. Like Punxsutawney Phil, only an ancient carnivorous reptile that knows where your ankles are most vulnerable.
This article appears in Feb 15-22, 2018.