Sh*t Happened 2/28/17: Lightning win, dogs gunned down, cookiefight!

You know what, Monday? You just might've lost the power to surprise.

So what do you do after knocking a bunch of Girl Scout Cookies to the ground outside a Walmart? Demand compensation for a debt owed, of course — first in cash, then in cookies — before throwing some punches. This story makes no sense. That's usually what happens when the word "melee" shows up in a Florida headline.

Two dogs in Tampa were shot by a police officer when they turned on the cop after mauling a poodle to death. One of the dogs died. The attacking dogs' owners are unhurt and, one assumes, immediately able to continue failing at life.

For the first time ever, Sarasota County authorities are charging a heroin dealer with manslaughter, alleging that she knew the drugs she was selling — cut with carfentanil — could be deadly. Some cigarette company magnate just had his gold-plated butler bookmark this story on the computer-box, before hastily arranging a meeting with a U.S. Senator.

And finally, despite having traded away some their best players and generally not doing so hot on the ice, the Tampa Bay Lightning beat the Ottawa Senators 5-1, thanks in large part to a Nikita Kucherov hat trick. Me getting much clearer about what actually happened during a slidey-flatball competition is surely a sign of the impending apocalypse.

Scroll to read more Tampa Bay News articles
Join the Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state.
Help us keep this coverage going with a one-time donation or an ongoing membership pledge.

Newsletters

Join Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at [email protected]