Sh*t Happened 2/28/18: Our long allergy nightmare is just beginning

Oh, the horror.

click to enlarge Sh*t Happened 2/28/18: Our long allergy nightmare is just beginning
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Good morning! How was your National Pancake Day? I spent mine applying cold, syrup-soaked flapjacks to my forehead.

According to pollen.com, Tampa Bay is among the worst places in the country for allergy sufferers, and it's only going to get worse as allergy season continues. Thanks for the heads-up. We'd hardly noticed, as it's difficult to perceive things through the swollen itchy radishes currently occupying our eye sockets.

A man arrested for setting fires at two Seminole churches back in early February said he did it for God. "That's ridiculous, God would never tell anybody to do something so stupid," said somebody who justifies their homophobia with a 2,000-year-old self-contradictory book written by 400 people and translated and re-translated 60 times.

A tax bill making its way through the state legislature could overrule all local bans on puppy mill pet sales in the state if passed, thanks to a small — some would say well-hidden — bit of language forbidding local jurisdictions from banning the sales of any "tangible personal property" subject to state taxes. A thermos, a pair of socks, the furry buddy your toddler has cuddled with every night since the crib — yeah, those things are the same.

And finally, Lowry Park Zoo formally introduced its latest additions, a trio of African penguins hatched in January. What is up with all the reproduction going on over there lately? Somebody has definitely been piping some Barry White through the loudspeakers after closing time.


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